So much has been talked/debated/written about pre-marital sex. Those who stand for it vow that it is their right to decide what they must or must not do, and those against it use the “Moral” code perhaps too generously. What amuses me though, is how the question bypassed several other levels and directly came into the “Right” or “Wrong” category. How did the debate transcend many other points of contention before it came to ask people “Are you for or against it?”.
For example, say I eat Noodles for dinner… people don’t immediately start debating on if they are for or against following the same eating pattern. It ultimately stops one step before and the verdict is “It may not be a healthy practice, but it’s the individual’s wish”. Same goes for the colors someone prefers, the homes people build, the jobs they work in or even the partners they choose for life! So why then did the question of pre-marital sex get classified in the “Right or Wrong”, “For or Against, “Stand by it or Swear against it scenario”?. Well, the reason I can think of it is because our country holds the institution of marriage as the highest social yardstick, and with good reason I must add.
Evolution has always started with chaos. The Universe evolved from Chaos but over a period of time it survived because some form of Order seeped into its existence. Mankind is no different. When marriage was not yet as prevalent the social evils against women were uncontrollable. Marriage brought in a sense of order. In India it is practically very difficult to be socially safe without marriage. Unfortunately into all our lives corruption has seeped in. Punishments are never fair, justice is very rarely served. The moral fear of committing a mistake has practically been washed away. And hence, the need for the institution of marriage assumed strength. It became necessary before you got the “LICENSE”. Evolution is a continuous process and once order set in, man started questioning why it is there. So here we are again, questioning why marriage should be a factor in determining whether I am allowed to do something or not.
Personally my views are completely away from the Yes or No question. From how I see it, before we ask the “right or wrong” question, we must think and answer the questions: “Is it necessary or not”, “Is it worth it or not”. Most of us debate on whether the indulgence is right or wrong, but are we actually debating/discussing on the consequences of the act? Are we considering the emotional and physical changes we might undergo after? We live in a society where getting pregnant before marriage is considered a Taboo, we cannot change it overnight. So, are we ready to tackle that scenario in a sensitive way wherein no one involved is hurt? Emotionally and physically? Are the precautions we might undertake fail-proof? Are we ready to face the consequences?
If the two people involved are sure of what they are doing and have planned it all out to face whatever may happen after the indulgence, then there is no question at all. But if they aren’t.. and the only reason to even do it is social pressure or incapacity to control overflowing hormones or just to experience the short thrill… then it is completely not fair to do it.
Is it Right or Wrong? Ask yourself. Is it necessary or not? Ask each other.
I am hopeful that more insights and opinions would be discussed in the new book by Poonam Uppal - A Passionate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story
But no matter what, just be prepared to face the consequences. Our short-sightedness prevents us from looking at anything beyond the few minutes/hours of pleasure. It is in this trait of mankind though, that the universe moves onward… albeit in circles!